From virtual to real world - the face of social media

My mobile has been made redundant

To paraphrase a famous Madonna song, I'm a virtual girl living in a virtual world. I haven't had a face-to-face business meeting for over a year and a total of four business telephone calls in the past three months. All communications are through email. So while I check my hotmail and gmail accounts on a daily basis and several times a day on weekdays, the mobile phone languishes in my handbag for emergency use. I'm not sorry about my phone's early retirement, I bought it after being pestered by clients when I was working inhouse, only for those clients to (perversely) continue booking me via email.

Addicted to the world wide web

As many homeworkers I'm addicted to the internet and linked to several business and social groups with hundreds of virtual friends. Some networks are great for keeping in touch with what is going on in the media/PR sector (LinkedIn, Journalism.co.uk, Gorkana, ukPress...), others provide information on my specialist interests and then there are accounts one must have (like Twitter) and websites one must be a member of (like Facebook). All networks provide virtual water cooler moments, although malicious gossip is discouraged for fear of libel.

Fish out of water at the Only Marketing Jobs’ Cambridge Link-up

Having been entrenched in virtual networking forums for months, it was quite unnerving to attend a networking event with real people. When I arrived at the Only Marketing Jobs’Cambridge Link-up just before 6.30pm, the venue was filling up, mostly with men, which was a change as I have been working in female-dominated offices for years.

I arrived a bit later than expected and with a bandaged thumb as I had sliced off the top with a scalpel while cutting my business cards. In my virtual word I have never needed cards because a website link will always do, so I left it a bit late for a printer to sort them out and had to do the job myself while trying to cobble together an outfit for the evening. Since I’ve become a homeworker I stopped wearing suits or casual chic outfits and there have been days when I’ve sat in my PJs typing away to meet a tight deadline.

And there I was, standing in a busy bar in central Cambridge, surrounded by networkers and job seekers, my name on my badge and a drink in my hand. It wasn’t long before somebody approached me so we started talking and it was surprisingly easy and good fun. I’m at my most articulate when I write and of course I get reactions when people hear my accent and realise I’m not British. I had a short discussion about accents with a Scottish woman at the event and she reckons that if you have an accent people tell you more. This could be true as I did quite well in market research at the start of my career, although sometimes people raised their voices when speaking to me, which I now know is the British Way of dealing with foreigners.

Talking to strangers is not rocket science

During the rest of the evening, I sidled up to men or women on their own, which is a neat party trick when faced with a room of strangers. Tackling groups requires huge confidence and the lack of intimacy is not conducive to getting to know individuals - people behave very differently in group situations.

So I quite enjoyed the speed networking upstairs, an area that was less crowded and full of eager networkers. Among the photos of the event there is one of myself speaking to the lucky lady who later in the evening won the champagne raffle.

Overall, I spoke to heaps of people, all with different and intriguing jobs. I even met somebody who used to work for some of my London magazine clients and there were a few discussions on SEO, which somebody defined as a dark art. Having spent hours reading about it while trying to switch from print to web writing, I haven’t seen much hocus pocus. SEO is a mix of dull html stuff and challenging writing rules for somebody who has been paid to churn sensational headlines, witty puns and word games. It’s back to basics with character counting, judicious use of keywords and a balancing act between accessible content and quality output.

Calling all Cambrige homeworkers

While working the rooms, I found other homeworkers who relished talking shop away from their computer screen. There was some talk of setting up a group and organise a few local outings. I started a conversation in the Marketing Lounge, so click here if you’d like to be involved. Amazingly, I stayed till around 9.15, then walked home with my small loot of business cards.

Women's Day - my daughter's first march

Having picked up a flyer about events celebrating International Women's Day in Cambridge, I decided to join the Women For Women International March from Victoria Bridge to Magdalene Bridge. Michela and I arrived at the start just before 12. It was a cold morning but there was a lot of enthusiasm and we got a few smiles as Michela was the only child in the march. I'm not quite sure why, a few mums stopped to write messages on the banner but they didn't join.
After a few really good speeches, truly inspirational and heartfelt (unlike a lot of trite stuff spouted on TV debates) we marched towards Magdalene Bridge, bang in central Cambridge, where we heard a few more inspired speakers and enjoyed the performance of a drumming group. Michela really enjoyed this bit and I was glad to join in the dance to warm my frozen limbs.
Talking to some women during the march made me realise that although I have lost an active interest in politics (despite my degree in Political Sciences), I was still holding on to some ideals and trying to do my bit. I have always been shy with strangers and getting involved with various projects in the local community as a charity volunteer (for NCT and Breastfeeding Network) has made me feel active and more confident at times when looking after a child felt like I had mothballed my brain away for future use.

I'm full of admiration for the speakers, women who are involved in international projects to help and protect more vulnerable women. As a speaker pointed out, in the UK we do have a level of protection and access to medical help. It might not be perfect but we don't have to fear for our lives or starve like many women and children in war-ravaged countries.

Happy International Women's Day! 

Women's Day - local and international events March 2010

• International Women's Day (apostcardaday.blogspot.com)
• Join me on the Bridge (International Women's Day) (one.org)
• World marks International Women's Day (cnn.com)
• International Women's Day Events in Cambridge  
• http://live.reuters.com/Event/International_Womens_Day_2010_2

Breastfeeding older children

I'm reading this book, which is about breastfeeding toddlers. I'm still breastfeeding Michela who is three in April so I have a personal interest, aside a 'professional' one. This modest looking publication caused a stir when the author, Ann Sinnott, appeared on GMTV to promote it.

A mother who breastfeeds a four year old was there and they also invited Clare Byam-Cook, who uttered a few controversial statements against breastfeeding older children. These caused a commotion in breastfeeding circles and several outraged comments from mums appeared on the GMTV's website. Click here to see the video that sent breastfeeding mums on a virtual warpath.

I have been busy with writing, so I have only had a chance to buy the book recently. My first impressions are that it's really sad some mothers have to hide the fact they are breastfeeding a toddler because they fear criticism from people and even health professionals. But then I remember that program called Extreme Breastfeeding where mums breastfeeding older children were treated a bit like freaks.

And if I'm honest, the first time I went to a breastfeeding cafe when Michela was weeks old, there was a mum breastfeeding a toddler and I did think it was a bit weird. So it's poetic justice that I now think it's perfectly normal - all I'm doing is waiting for my daughter to stop rather than imposing my decision.

Penny-pinching parenting

I feel like I'm becoming the Queen of Mean. No, I am not embarrassing people with putdowns Anne Robinson style, I'm just trying to stretch the pound further in our household. Sign of this condition appeared as I grew up in a penny-pinching household (my parents married for love and my mum was 20 when she had me). Going on a tangent, the other day I shocked myself making a parallel between me and her. I have a little girl who is three in April, while my mum was age when I was 23 and at university.

Anyway, back to the development of my mean streak. After I graduated I decided to move to London and lived there for 14 years. The first years I didn't have much money, but managed to save. Eight years later the savings joined a mortgage in the purchase of a Victorian terraced house that needed refurbishing.

Around two years later I met my current partner, sold the house and we bought a house together, our combined savings financing a step up on the ladder and getting us a Victorian semi. When we decided to move out of London in 2008, we sold the house and lived in rental. When the credit crunch cornered us, our savings became both a lifeline and a future deposit on our next house.

It's safe to say that I have been penny-pinch for years for a reason or another. Having already done the renovation on a budget thing, in 2007 I was ripe for the next challenge: budget parenting. This (ironically) was easier in London, where there are plenty of places where you can buy things second hand. I did a lot of freecycling too, which worked out very well as I disposed of things I didn't need anymore and acquired items I needed. This continued in Rugby, where there were plenty of shopping bargain to be had (I became quite fond of charity bazaars and school fetes). And let's not forget the NCT Nearly New Sales, which have been great everywhere I have been. I have been singing their praises in NCT newsletters and online.

So what about Cambridge, my new ciy? There is an NCT sale coming up on 28 March, which I'm very excited about and there are plenty of charity shops (Burleigh Street is a great place for bargains). Freecycle is present here and there are plenty of shopping opportunities, especially with the sales, which have been lasting longer this year. We have been to a few charity bazaars, too. I'm a sucker for homemade jams made by sweet old ladies.

Of course shopping at different shops, chasing bargains and comparing prices require time and effort. So I was particularly excited about John Lewis's new value range as it's one of my favourite department stores. I have already bought three lovely pans for £12 and two really good paring knifes at £1 each. I'm quite tempted by their bedlinen and other bits and pieces below...

John Lewis Value Plain Polyester Cotton Duvet Cover Sets, Blue

http://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=1203&awinaffid=98103&clickref=&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.johnlewis.com%2F34470%2F

John Lewis Value Toaster, 2-Slice, White

http://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=1203&awinaffid=98103&clickref=&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.johnlewis.com%2F230676463%2F

John Lewis Pancake Pans  (complete with free online recipe for Pancakes to celebrate Shrove Tuesday)

http://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=1203&awinaffid=98103&clickref=&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.johnlewis.com%2FMagaz 

And this is an article for baby on a budget with lots of ideas for new parents
http://infantstoddlers.suite101.com/article.cfm/baby_on_a_tight_budget

Chocolat sans frontieres

After Italy won Snowmen Sans Frontieres, I knew there was going to be a rematch. The new challenge was however a friendly international and the team colours were green and black. You guessed, it was chocolate testing with Green & Black's bars, a match made in heaven!

The chocolate challenge
The Italian (moi) felt all superior about it - after all I'm the dark chocolate lover and not a fan of sickly sweet, milk chocolate concoctions with low content of cocoa. The English (my partner) was so cocky he decided to test blindly. So while he turned his back to the eight delectable chocolate bars, I read aloud the instructions kindly provided by our sponsor, Green & Black's, for expert chocolate tasting. The English (nicknamed philistine for his low opinion of most contemporary art) predictably snorted hearing the suggestion that you should put the chocolate in your mouth and pinch the nose (temporarily) to appreciate the taste. The Italian complied, glad there was no mention of spitting in a bucket (like you do for wine tasting).

Testing times
Let's hear it for the flavours! Of the range pictured above, the teams tested Almond, Butterscotch, Cherry, Creamy Milk,  Dark 70%, Dark 85%, Milk and White. The testing order was not alphabetical (sorry but I'm an analist) but, as recommended, we started from the lightest variety and worked our way to Dark 85%.

The (cocoa) scores
At 30% we have White; at 32% we have Creamy Milk; Butterscotch and Milk are 34%,  Almond is 37%, Cherry is 50% and the name says it all for the Dark varieties (70% and 85%).


The match
We started with White as it has the lowest percentage. This was a controversial move as the English (who decided to play with blinkers) proclaimed it was a nice take on the Milky Bar. Italian called for arbitration. Upon discovery that Milky Bar has a whopping 57.7g of sugar per 100g while Green & Black's White has organic raw cane sugar and higher cocoa content, the Italian was feeling pretty confident.
Next on was Creamy Milk, which the English (and self-styled philistine, not to mention fan of Cadbury chocolate) identified it as a Cadbury Dairy Milk tastealike to the horror of the Italian who although not a fan of dairy chocolate could taste the difference (no Sainsbury's pun intended).  
Butterscotch created a truce as both teams agreed it was very tasty, although the English made a sneaky reference to Crunchie bars. Milk chocolate went down a treat, with the Italian muttering about smokey flavours, while the English uttered the C word again! Almond was again an equalizer, despite the suspect reference to peanut cookies from the English, which the Italian deemed a failed Jilly Goolden interpretation as talking about peanuts when almonds are involved is not comme il faut.  
Cherry was our third winner, so moreish, the Italian kidnapped it after the match and had a saucy affair behind a closed bedroom door. The English thought it was like Cadbury's Fruit & Nuts without the Nuts. Last but not least the Dark varieties. Dark 70% was again smokey and sexy for the Italian, while the English reckoned it tasted like the nice dark one at LIDL. The last one was the Dark 85%. Well this was for connoisseurs so as the Italian chewed slowly and a tad pretentiously, the English was not impressed.

The hat trick
Three were the winners: Butterscotch, Cherry and Almond.

Thanks to the sponsor!
Both teams wish to thank the sponsor, Green & Black's for supporting our friendly challenge. Below are wonderful images of Belize, where the cocoa comes from. Willy Wonka, eat your heart out!

Explaining childbirth to a two year old - bees and birds need not apply

Michela has been airing more views on life, the universe and everything. Take life. I showed her a photo of myself when heavily pregnant and told her she was inside it, then showed her a scan. Why? Because she has asked me again the 'embarrassing' question, 'Where do I come from?'

The first time she asked this I thought she was geographically challenged and confused (she was born in London, then we lived in Rugby and now in Cambridge), then I realised what she really meant when she explained to me about Pinga, sister of Pingu being born from an egg. It is such a cute piece of animation - the midwife turns up on ice skates and she has a big spoon to break the egg.

I thought about cabbages, storks, birds and bees and decided I would not go for fairy stories but stick to the truth as much as I could. So I said, that yes, she was an egg in my belly, then became a prawn (the only animal I could think of that is small, pink and resembled her actual size), then grew very big and there was no space so she had to come out. I asked: 'Where do you think you came out from?' and she replied seriously: 'I came out from a booboo.' I couldn't help laughing (booboo is her pet name for breast). I said: 'But the booboo has a tiny hole, you were too big for that.' Michela was adamant and for days she kept saying: 'I came out of a booboo' at all times.

When the entertainment value wore out, I decided to set her straight. I wouldn't want her to go to primary school like I did thinking I came out of my mum's right leg (my mum gave me the talk a bit too late when I was a teen and knew already what was what). So I said she came out of my bottom, which is a word she knows and because we use it for nappy changing as in 'Stay still I need to clean your bottom'.

My moment of truth had hilarious results when Michela put two and two together while we were shopping at a local supermarket. At the till she announced: 'I came from my mama's bottom.' Then she added: 'There is a hole there, I came from the hole.' Nobody said anything but my partner and I nearly fell off laughing at her logical approach (we never mentioned any hole and yes we were amused but slightly embarrassed).

Another deduction that had me bursting into laughter and her dad look sheepish was when Michela saw my partner in the bath, pointed at his bits and asked: 'What's that?'

My partner said it was a willy and Michela announced to me: 'Dada has a big willy' which embarrassed my partner and made me laugh until tears came out of my eyes. She has not announced her discovery in public places yet. We have joked about it at Christmas - children do say the funniest things.

A Norvegian study proclaims breastfeeding is a waste of time

Myself and my daughter Michela 'wasting our time'.

If you haven't heard of this, click here to read all about it from the horse's mouth. This study triggered furore in articles, blogs and social media circles. The Unicef UK Baby Friendly Initiative responded calmy outlining the shortcomings of the study. Click here to read why this small study is flawed compared to larger studies and the simple and unrefutable fact that breast milk has been the only nutrient for babies for centuries (formula arrived in the XXth century). Also bear in mind that Norway has a 99% breastfeeding rate (I found the figure here) and draw your own conclusions.

I'm not surprised that a study has popped out to diminish breasteeding, it's not the only one, what I am really annoyed about is the reaction from some bottle feeding women on various forums. They have an outdated view of breastfeeding organisations and think breastfeeding women are smug and keen on making them feel small and guilty.

Some women are so bitter they leave negative comments under articles who promote breastfeeding. Yesterday I left a comment under an article to say that most breastfeeding organisations are supportive of mums and some even provide bottle feeding information on their sites. There are mums who know this and who ring breastfeeding lines to ask how to stop breasteeding. It's not a taboo subject, if you go cold turkey the pain can be excruciating. Yet there are plenty of formula feeding mums who have an axe to grind.

As a breastfeeding helper I have never treated a mum who mentions formula like an outcast. The aim of my training was to give all the information and leave formula as a last resort because there are mums who cannot breastfeed - although fewer than people think. While researching breastfeeding I came across La Leche League International (LLI), which has a website full of information. I knew of the UK charity but before I trained and received its excellent Book of Breastfeeding Answers, I didn't know you can breastfeed if you have terminal cancer and even HIV.

And did you know that breastfeeding is recommended for smokers? Click here for a great leaflet about breastfeeding versus alcohol, smoking and drugs. Drugs mentioned in this leaflet are medicines, but the LLI has a page on illegal drugs and on this page I found out that you can breastfeed if you are taking methadone to detox.

Formula mothers, the world is not against you and breastfeeding mums encounter as many negative comments from strangers and even family member. I know because of personal experience and because mums told me about their lack of support and negative attitudes towards their decision to breastfeed.

Do you think breastfeeding mums are smug or did you experience negative comments and feedback from your loved ones when you chose to breasteed? Feel free to leave a comment under this blog.

Christmas booboos

Booboos is how Michela calls my breasts. She knows the words breast and booby but prefers booboos, which is one of the first words she uttered to ask for a drink (perhaps because she couldn't say the words breast or boobie?).

When I was a child, I used the word 'boo' to indicate drink. I was bottlefed, so no breast link there, although it's curious as I grew up in Italy while my daughter is growing up in England and knows very little Italian (despite good intentions, the 'bilingual project' has failed miserably).

Last week we went to a Christmas Carol Service for the staff of the University of Cambridge and realised that there is a breastfeeding carol.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim
Worship night and day,
A breastful of milk
And a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
Which adore.

The words of this carol are from a poem by Christina Rossetti called In The Bleak Midwinter (read more about by clicking here). Michela was asleep during the service, so she didn't catch the reference. She loves hearing about baby Jesus as it is a baby with two loving parents, which is easy to relate to, although her birth didn't involve an ox, donkey nor any sheep. As all toddlers, Michela is fascinated by animals and she loves looking at illustrations where the baby Jesus is surrounded by all sort of animals, one book even includes a family of chickens.

I'm signing off with a charity initiative involving a stunning calendar, which, like the glamorous painting by Tamara de Lempicka shown above, displays beautiful breastfeeding mums. I have mentioned the calendar before, it's in aid of Rugby Breastfeeding Cafe, which is run by volunteers. See a slideshow of the pics by clicking here.


Happy Xmas to you all....

Snowmens sans frontieres...

The winner of the December 09 challenge (with hat and sans hat)

 The December 2009 winner (detail) and the snowmen from the January 2009 challenge (English snowman at the back)

Forfeit victory to the Italian contender
Yesterday evening the snow started falling again and it continued overnight so by morning there was a thick blanket in the back garden. The snowmam challenge was on so the two contenders stepped out with pint-sized referee Michela in tow.

The English and Italian contenders made a start but the English contender did a Paula Radcliffe (I can't make a snowman with this kind of snow). The Italian contender completed the challenge by building a snowman against a tree. There was hissing and spitting from the English side who awarded nul points to the snowman as it was not free standing. However, the referee awarded a forfeit victory to the Italian contender.

This is the second victory for Italy as the previous snowman challenge in January 2009 was won by the Italian on the grounds of endurance. The English snowman didn't last due to shoddy workmanship. The Italian contender generously revealed the secret behind the two victories: 'Snow must be compatted and worked bit by bit, simply rolling won't produce a good, sturdy snowman.'

Can you produce a better snowman? The e-challenge is still on... Send your pics to membersfeedback at hotmail.co.uk and I will upload them.

Snow, wall of shame and a heartwarming story

Today it snowed while we were walking in central Cambridge.

The magic was short lived. When we came out from the library, the sun had reappeared and an icy wind blew on us all the way back home.

Snow aside, we have a white mountain in our lounge, which I call the wall of shame. Behind the white sheet there is a solid wall of cardboard boxes full of stuff we couldn't fit in the garage. We are lucky we did find a house to rent with a garage, but even covered, our wall of shame is a bit of an eyesore. I stuck a poster on it and a few Xmas decorations but it still looks like a mess. I'm hoping this is a temporary arrangement but who knows if we will ever find a house to buy...

The mess underneath is Michela's collection of toys and books. We have piles in all rooms. The grownup place we planned pre-birth never happened. Ultimately the toys have won the war. I am becoming addicted to crates, especially lidded ones.

Lastly, the moving story. I was sent this link through a forum and it is such a heartwarming tale, perfect for the festive season (or indeed all year round)! The headline says it all: Nursing Moses: Moms step in after infant's mother dies. Before you click on it, have some hankies ready!

SNOW UPDATE: my partner stepped out the front door onto a blanket of snow. It must have started snowing when we were snug inside with our curtains drawn. Just looked out into our snowy garden, it is still snowing....