How to see the positive side of rejection (aka hurray, I didn't get that job!)

Now, now, who got that job?

Nobody likes rejection, me included. I'm a proactive go-getter so if I work hard on a job application (not only researching the company/organisation involved but also preparing presentations and undergoing various tests if I reach the interview stage), it's a real downer to be told, "We loved your presentation, but we found a candidate closely matching our requirements, bla, bla".  Often I get zero feedback and I wonder, "Why not?". But not for long.

Thanks to the internet it's remarkably easy to find out who gets the job you have been applying for, if the organisation/firm doesn't make an announcement on its website, then you just do a search on LinkedIn. Another way is to work for that organisation in another capacity. More than once, I didn't get the job but I ended up working there through a temping agency. That's how I found out that a couple of jobs I applied for went to internal candidates. Grrr, the internal candidate, what's the point of advertising such a job? I don't see the point, no matter what the law says.

Then there is the annoyance when you find out that the job went to somebody younger, a 'man' (I have nothing against men, I quite like them, I'm just fed up of this gender divide nonsense) or, intriguingly, somebody who is not 'better' than you, like somebody less experienced... Something my partner told me once comes to mind: "In business people hire people they like or they feel comfortable working with". So the winning candidate might not be 'better', but more likeable. Not a compliment, but it's understandable. You can't please everybody.

Women also have another disadvantage over men - it has been proven that women don't tend to bullshit. Sorry for the use of the strong word but there has been research saying that women won't apply for a job unless they can tick all the requirements on the job description. I was ticking away, until my partner advised me to stop. And he was right as I got a few interviews for managerial roles. I didn't get the jobs, but from the feedback I got, it was a question of beating stiff competition, there was nothing wrong with my CV.

There is also another scenario, which happened to me recently. You attend the interview and you get a raft of hostile questions. So you do some verbal fencing while wondering:

• Have they read my CV?
• Why in hell have they called me for this interview?
• Is it some sort of strategy to find an emotionally strong candidate?
• Why am I here? This job sounds like miles away from the job description.
• I don't like these people, should I sabotage my interview?
• Why is this woman in the panel giving me the evil eye while the other is as nice as pie? Is it a game of good cop, bad cop?

Feel free to add more scenarios... I'm starting to realise that interviews are either a competitive sport or a performance theatre play. Most of the jobs I go for are contract jobs, so you'd think they are easier to get than permanent posts, but no, it's actually worse! These jobs are highly attractive because Cambridge has a transient labour market. There are plenty of people after them, even people who don't live in Cambridge but are hoping to move here.

But back to that list of thoughts surfacing in my head while I'm being interviewed... If like me you sat there and had similar thoughts, not getting the job is the best outcome. Always trust your instincts,  I haven't and I should learn to. I once got a job after getting the evil eye treatment and it was not a nice workplace. Luckily I had the option of going back to work from home. 

I'm lucky to have a choice, but I didn't when I graduated in 1993, during an economic recession. I had to do jobs I was overqualified for, work for unpleasant people until I made my escape into journalism. I had a wonderful career for well over a decade. 

Out of London it's a bit different, plus the economic/financial recession of 2008 is still having repercussions, whatever the politicians say. There are less opportunities in "the provinces", but things are picking up in digital marketing. 

I could stay freelance but after several years of homeworking I like the idea of being in an office again. I started doing inhouse jobs in 2011,  a bit hampered by restrictive childcare provisions. Now my daughter is in school and has a place at a afterschool club, it's getting easier. Still I'd like to see more flexible opportunities for mums. 

I couldn't stop working, not even when heavily pregnant, so my only option was to volunteer my skills. I'm still doing some volunteering and it's wonderful work, but at some point everybody needs to earn some money.

We all want a better life-work balance, another reason why it's best not to get certain jobs, especially in the corporate sector, which is not child friendly, whatever they say. And most businesses still believe on bums on seats, like remote technology is something out of sci-fi. Maybe we need an app so employers can breathe on remote employees' necks. 

Finally, if you are a male reader, I wish you luck in finding a way to work and see your children grow. It was a big financial sacrifice for us, but well worth it - after several years of working as a freelance consultant, my partner is back on the career ladder and I'm on my way. Like the French songstress sang: Rien, je ne regrette rien.

Spot me at the Creating Cambridge BIG Summer BBQ 2013

I attended this business networking event during the summer. Quite a funny video. I was only drinking orange juice, honest! I'm wearing a floral top and jeans.

Back to school - where has the summer gone?

We went back to the Aire of Jugy -
see updated pics here (link to come)

We came back from the holidays the day before the schools opened and it has been hectic. My partner flew abroad for a business trip a few days later and I have been holding the fort while working from home.

We had a great holiday driving from Cambridge to northern Italy through France and our soon-to-be-ten Toyota didn't break down. What will we do when it does? I will blog about this soon as I have some photos to share.

I have also been networking, which is not innate for me but it's coming along nicely - give me a break, if I were a consummate chatter, I'd be in sales not content marketing (ie writing stuff). If, like me, you are a bit nervous in a room full of strangers, just smile, look around and locate somebody on their own. This trick works very well, I have learnt it at my first business conference from a really smart lady. It's not as creepy as it sounds, honest!

We had a lovely summer in the UK and some rain in Italy courtesy of the Cambridge cloud (a real cloud, I'm not talking about internet storage). It follows us around a bit. But after a few warm days back in the UK, the idyll was over, with cold, rainy days. I just about managed to mow the grass and rake it before the grey clouds arrived.

Well, that's it for now. I have heaps of things to do and a  work file to go through.

Hope you are all doing well and the kids are enjoying school.

School is out, plus two product reviews

My daughter has been on holiday for over two weeks. I am back at home after working full time for three months, doing editing and writing work, and gearing up for September when it will be hectic again. I might work full time again, work from home or do a mixture by taking short-term contracts. 

August is a quiet month in my field - and my partner's - so we are enjoying this extraordinary British summer, while doing a spot of DIY. My partner painted the kitchen and my summerhouse's revamp is coming along nicely.

Being at home all day is a bit of a shock for Michela, as this year she went to the after-school club full time, Monday to Friday till 6pm. So we visited all the charity shops and bought lots of games and books to keep her busy. 

It's very busy in Cambridge as it's high tourist season - Michela is popular with Chinese and Japanese women, who wants to take picture of her... With her long hair, big brown eyes and long eyelashes, she looks a bit like a Manga character (not to mention the 'big head', which is a family joke as I can wear her hats).

Testing, testing... Disney movie & a special diary for juggling parents

We have always encouraged Michela to watch TV and against all the academic research out there, she has not become addicted to the small screen. She is very selective and into Scooby Doo at the moment, which I don't mind watching now and then as I grew up with it. We are also doing some back-to-school shopping (more about this after the review).

So among the various press releases that have hit my inbox I have selected two items to review - The Odd Life of Timothy Green, a Disney movie, and Family School Year Diary. 

Scanning through the press release of this film, which was released on DVD at the end of July (£9 on Amazon), I can agree that it's indeed magical and heart-warming. I was surprised at the quality of the script, which at times reminded me of indie movies. It is just a tad gushing but I smiled and cried a little bit too. It's amazing how many themes the writers have managed to squeeze in this family movie: infertility, the power of belief, competitive parenting, adoption, fantasy (a kind of eco-friendly Pinocchio), respect for diversity, unconditional love, dysfunctional parenting and emotional neglect (the paternal grandfather), death of loved ones, job insecurity, friendship, art and magic. 

And all of this in a 'normal life' scenario. Yes, it's a movie and there is a fantasy element to it, but most of it is about real life and people you can relate to. My daughter being only six, found some parts not to her taste (such as the factory scenes and the job insecurity storyline) but loved every bits where the young boy hogs the screen. I loved it - this film stands out among some really dire offerings full of violence or very predictable and devoid of any imagination. Well done, Disney! Looking forward to Monsters University - I bought the DVD of Monsters, Inc before my daughter was born (yes, I'm a big kid).


And now for something completely different.... The Big Family School Year Diary from Mum's Office.

This is a special diary indeed, running from August 2013 to August 2014 to coincide with the school year. It has a reptile-effect cover and comes in three colours: raspberry, blackberry and peppermint - delicious!  

Structured in the week-a-page format, it has extra pages for notes, children's information,

mum's information, event planners, term planners - even a pocket money record. I love it. I have tried digital organiser and I'm not a fan. I like to write my stuff down in a Filofax, but since it's also my work organiser, it's getting a bit cramped between school events and work commitments. My daughter's school organises a lot of events, so aside my PTA and class volunteering there are dress-up days, special days (like science, boat building, costume making for plays) where you need to take bits and pieces in, meetings with teachers... I need to remind myself of all these things and my pocket-size Filofax is struggling. And I have only one child, imagine if you have two children or three (the norm here in Cambridge) and these children do extra curriculum activities. It's like project management on a daily basis! 

Dads who are not involved in running home life have no idea of how hard it can be. My partner found out recently. So if I'm off to work inhouse for a client, how is my partner going to know that Michela needs to take stuff at school for an activity? We need a family diary. RRP price of The Big Family School Year Diary is £16.95, not the cheapest around, but perfect to juggle your family life in style!

Product specs:

• Measures 18cm x 12cm with 176 pages
• Hardback cover with rounded corners
• Gusset pocket on the inside back cover
• 2 grosgrain ribbons, an elastic strap to hold it all together and a pen loop.

Back to school shopping and PTA woes

By Geralt

All the stores and supermarkets are displaying their back-to-school wares. Michela goes to a primary school where pupils are asked to wear blue clothing, but there is flexibility for shoes, so aside plimsolls (which are very cheap), she can wear her 'normal' shoes. As she is a bit of a tomboy, we get through trainers and boy boots (girl's shoes are of the flimsy variety), while 'party shoes' don't get much wear and are usually passed down to a younger friend with a more girly disposition.

So it's down to buying some tees as her blue check pinafores still fit - and she doesn't wear them much anyway. We might have to buy new jeans, despite buying a bigger size, we have to change them every six months or so as she is growing in height at a fast speed. She is now 117cm. Obviously she has not taken from me. I bought some stuff at the school fete, I was manning the uniform stall so I had first pick - we had heaps of stuff, kindly donated by parents. 

You guessed it, I'm in the PTA, with the role of publicity/poster/programme designer and bar server/uniform stall person at events. It's great fun and the committee is made up of working mums, with dads helping out on the day at events. It's a small group this year and it's the case of 'ask a busy person', which is annoying as we know that there are some non-working/part-time working mums that really enjoy coming to the events but don't want to pitch in. Prior to each event (disco, Xmas shopping, international food night, Father Xmas' visit, summer fete) we panic in case we haven't got enough volunteers. Sometimes we have to threaten cancellation to get some volunteers - we can't run all the stalls ourselves with such a tiny committee. The events are so much fun, though, even if you are manning a stall.

Fun thing to do at the weekend: write your name or your child's in cats

Find how I did it here.

Silent Sunday nookie: two Ermine moths on my window

A frugal family's tale - my budget baby articles and review of Aldi's Lelli-Kelly-style shoes

First of all, let me say that we regularly shop at Aldi, so when I was offered a sample of the Lelli-Kelly-style shoes for Michela, I was happy to accept. I was not surprised to find out that Aldi won Which? Supermarket of the Year 2012 - its international offerings (sliced cooked meat, cheese and the cheapest but quality maple syrup you can find) had us hooked for the past three years or so. Aldi's brochures are so well written - as a copywriter I find them delightful. I have kept the Halloween edition as it offered ideas for spooky face paint and fun themed dishes.

Without further ado, here is my review of Aldi's Lelli-Kelly-style shoes. The
headline of the press release says it all: Spend or Splurge? Well, we are no splurgers, we love a bargain and we are charity shop addicts. I even wrote baby-on-a-budget/credit crunch articles a few years back (scroll down for links) for various publications.

Back to the Aldi shoes, we tested them on a walk into central Cambridge and at school (Michela's school uniform policy doesn't apply to shoes). It was a welcome change from the usual, sensible shoe we buy for Michela - we bought plimsolls, boy-style boots (sturdy, rainproof and kickproof) and croc lookalikes at Aldi, so we have tested its kid range out of our own pockets since she started school. We buy most shoes from supermarkets anyway, we tried Tesco, Sainsbury's and Asda for trainers, sandals and wellies. We only shop at shoe shops during the sales and it's more like TK Maxx anyway.

The shoes did well, they were a bit dirty after a day at school but the sequins were still stuck on! Lelli Kelly shoes come with little gifts but retail at a whopping £49.99, while these lookalikes are £8.99. They have been available from June 27, so if you are lucky you can still find a pair at your store. Sizes are from 7 to 12. Pity they don't do size 3 as I'd have bought a pair from myself! These pink and silver sparklers are part of a special range, so they won't be gathering dust on the shelves... I hope Aldi will reissue them at some point. Children grow out of shoes pretty soon.

My credit crunch series in full

Baby on a budget (online version)
Baby on a budget (print version)
Buying secondhand high chairs
Buying secondhand for your pregnancy, baby and toddler
Have a green Christmas
Family garden on a budget
Build your first aid kit

Cooking with kids - plus a couple of my own recipes

Michela prepping a cake tin

I recently received a copy of BBC Good Food magazine alongside a press release mentioning a Cooking with Kids survey. My daughter and I love to make drop scones (aka Scotch pancakes) on Sundays and bake cakes. She likes to grease the tin with my silicone brush because it's like painting, albeit with oil.

Cakes were the first 'dishes' I learnt to make too. I think I was around 10 when I decided to bake my own cakes - my mother, who is a very good cook - didn't have a magic touch with cakes, although she excelled with Mont Blanc and rice puddings.

My grandmothers were both excellent - one actually ran a restaurant on the ground floor of our house, so I grew up in a restaurant kitchen. She made this great dessert by wrapping a pear in pastry, like a pear in a basket and baking it for us as a treat (my brother and cousin too). I helped to make ravioli and was waitress/dishwasher at weddings for pocket money. Running a restaurant and bar is hard work, so we kids passed on it - the restaurant is still going though, my parents and uncle/aunt are renting it out.

I capitalised on my 'knowledge' and love for food a few years back by developing recipes for baby and family meals for Made for Mums. Here are my recipe for Easy, Spanish-style Paella and Italian-style rice pudding. There are several more on the website, these were all tried and tested.

BBC Good Food - the survey
Back to the survey, this included 1,349 parents and children and revealed that the combination of an abundance of TV cookery shows and a more relaxed attitude to household roles means that children are cooking from the age of 6, compared to an average of 10 years old for their parents’ generation.

This is spot on, although Michela started earlier by assisting me with cupcakes for school and local fetes. I also went to her preschool when she was 3 to make gnocchi with the kids and they all loved it. The survey acknowledges this, six is the average age so I'm sure there are other younger kids out there holding the pastry brush.

Kids love activities and cooking is a winner because there is something yummy to eat at the end of the process. The survey was commissioned in support of BBC Good Food’s ‘Get Kids cooking weekend’, which coincided with Father's Day. This is another sign of the times, my partner does most of the cooking at home, he is a Masterchef fan and likes to watch countless cookery shows. Acquaintances find it strange as I'm Italian and he is British, but he can cook Chinese, Indian and British classics pretty well. He also cooks pasta al dente.

The survey's key findings were:

• Only 40% of adults say their skills were better than their children’s skills at the same age.
• The average age parents with children under 16 learned to cook is 10. The average age their children are learning is 6.
• Today’s children are learning earlier than their parents on 10 skills polled, from cooking an omelette and chopping an onion to making a white sauce.
• According to parents, the top reasons for the previous generation learning later were: parents being less relaxed about kids in the kitchen, (27%); cooking having a lower profile than today, (25%) and it previously being regarded as a girl’s task (16%).
• According to parents, the top reasons kids enjoy cooking at a young age is that 50% of parents view cooking as an essential life skill, 47% of children are inspired by television cookery shows and 41% of respondents see it as good family bonding time.

BBC Good Food's editor Gillian Carter commented: “It is easy to forget that for years home cooking was the preserve of the adult woman of the household, and often children were shooed out of the kitchen. Today cooking, inspired in part by television, is seen as an opportunity to spend time together doing something fun and practical. 50% of parents view it as an essential life skill and the great thing is Dads are just as involved as mums. We want to capitalise on this enthusiasm with our children’s cooking campaign.”

Back to BBC Good Food magazine, I thought it was full of sensible, realistic recipes that I want to make. Many cookbooks are just eye candy - the list of ingredients is long and scary; the processes are long and complicated... Parents are short of time, we can't spend a whole day 'nurturing' a piece of meat. However, freshly made food is important for us, we only resort to ready-made food on occasions. We shop from various sources to get the best ingredients - supermarkets, markets, farm shops, ethnic shops, organic shops....

I was pleased to see the magazine has retained its identity and is not following food fads. I freelanced at BBC Good Food years ago, when it was across the road (sort of) from the television centre and I thought they had an impressive test kitchen. The new kitchen looks great too!

Question on ebook publishing... do you know this company?

How to Self Publish from How to Self Publish

Has anybody used this website???

How to make money online and my own career guides

I am watching a streamed talk from Britmums Live 2013 and it made me think that blogging is not just about making some pin money or getting products to review. Blogging is a strong business tool and that's how I made money from it.

Blogging has been a businesscard (SEO blog), a way to get commissioned to write features (this blog, The 1930s house and the Ecothrifter blogs) and share my interests in cyberspace.

So here are my recent best efforts to gain 'authority' in the competitive cyberworld... Enjoy!

5 ways to make money online from Simone Castello

Take 5 journalism from Simone Castello

Take 5 digital marketing careers from Simone Castello

Lucky 7 steps to digital domination from Simone Castello

Build a website on a budget from Simone Castello